January 15, 2015 by Writing Campus
I’m getting really ornery lately. I want to argue about things with people the village. I pick fights and think bad thoughts about most people I see. I just plain feel mean. Grrrr.
Rupert: I dinna see how ye are behavin’ much differently than most kin of mine. Are ye sure ye’re no’ a Scot? We argue about everythin’! My auld grannie Jenny gets in a fight once a week, shriekin’ and carryin’ on, just because some duffer may cross her path or get mud on her hems. Now, if ye hae just become a wee bit more rascally lately and ye’re no’ a Scot, then my best guess is that ye’re likely in need of a dram of whiskey to settle yer nerves and put a smile on yer face!
Angus: Rupert may be right, ye ken, but yer problem may hae a dark, more evil cause. I asked Father Bain about yer problem, as Rupert and I are nae experts on how best to stop fightin’ and arguin’. Now, he said if ye canna get through a pater noster and Hail, Mary without wantin’ to curse, then ye’re likely possessed by a demon and need to be exorcised! The demon will make ye swear and fight, ye ken, and Father Bain said that especially as ye are a woman ye have the devil about ye. Oh… there was one more thing that Father Bain said. If ye feel the need to argue, remember the holiest words of St. Paul, who wrote that “Let women keep silence.” Now, I havena ever known a woman to do that, but it is what the Father advised.
Best of luck to ye,
Rupert & Angus