Dear Highlander: How Do I Know If I’m Drunk?


November 24, 2014 by Writing Campus

Dear Highlander received this question for Angus and Rupert.

Fauxlander Question 11222014

Dear @feenix,

Rupert: As a Scot, I dinna think it is possible to ever be drunk. Now, that doesna mean that it’s not possible to need to hold onto the floor a wee bit after a certain point in the evenin’, but that only happens when ye’re drinkin’ port, French wine, or English claret. My good friend Jamie once said, if ye can stand up, ye’re not drunk. Good Scots whiskey will guide ye true every time.

Angus: There be only one true way to ken if ye’re drunk or no – if yer cock doesna work, ye’re drunk. I meself havena ever had such a problem, but I’ve heard that Rupert canna get a cockstand when he’s deep in his cups. Now, it’s a wee bit different for a lady, as ye havena got cocks. To be honest, I dinna know exactly what ye have down there, but I’m fairly sure it isna a cock. I suppose that for ladies ye’re drunk after yer first dram, and ye’re likely a bit blootered if ye start havin’ lustful thoughts. …A handsome man like meself may need to take care of ye. Speakin’ of which, lassie, would ye care to meet up at the Hall tonight and have a drink?

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One thought on “Dear Highlander: How Do I Know If I’m Drunk?

  1. Terry says:

    I love these guys !!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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