Passive-Aggressive Vase Seeking Lifelong Companion

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October 12, 2014 by Writing Campus

Blue Vase

Single, affordably priced blue vase seeking stable home, preferably in the greater United Kingdom.

Likes: holding flowers, fulfilling nostalgia ideas of stability and ironically foreshadowing impending change. Willing to serve as paperweight for the right documents.

Dislikes: carnations, use as pimp cup, gathering dust, being left in store for another three weeks because someone just *has* to go back in time.

Interested parties should send enquiries to Menzies’ Antique Shoppe, No. 3 High Street, Inverness IV2 5BP, Scotland.

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