NEWSFLASH: Virgins Compete in Bible Verse-Off


September 29, 2014 by Writing Campus

Father Gow
Father Gow (during recent Verse-Off)

Tormented parish priest, Father Andrew Gow, lost in a spontaneous “verse-off” against visiting teenager, Willie MacKenzie. This loss represents the third in which Father Gow has struggled to display the biblical prowess that ought to define the priesthood, thus supporting the general assertion that “he has no game.”

These “verse-offs” are a fast-growing trend, in which small-town priests struggle to recall their Biblical verses. “It’s because the wee bastard was saying the verses in English,” declared Father Gow. “Had it been in Latin, I would have beat the snot out of that bugger.”

MacKenzie says otherwise. “I’m naught but 17, and yet I know my Romans better than the priest! It shouldna matter if it’s in English or Latin… and ye wonder why the lowlanders are all turning Presbyterian…”

Father Gow’s record now stands at 2-3, with local betting agencies putting odds at 47 to 1 that he will lose again in his next challenge. Choirboy Duncan Menzies, 9, from Inverness will be Father Gow’s next challenger, and it’s shaping up to be quite the match. Menzies is already being scouted by local monasteries to start his first year, and he is widely considered to be an up-and-coming star within the verse-off community.


One thought on “NEWSFLASH: Virgins Compete in Bible Verse-Off

  1. […] of the Greater Inverness Area,” which he lost to Willie MacKenzie weeks ago (more details here) against wee tyke Hamish MacKenzie, whose skills with Leviticus are […]


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