NEWSFLASH: Local Pervert Saves English Woman from Assault

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September 25, 2014 by Writing Campus

Angus kilt
Recent image of Angus Mhor

Notorious peeping tom Angus Mhor initiated a rescue of one Mrs. Claire Beauchamp from assault at the hands of infamous blackguard Cpt. Jonathan Randall, Esq. yesterday. Mhor, who had been attempting to look in the women’s privy on the second floor of a local inn, mistakenly peered inside an open window of the main upstairs dining room and subsequently saw Mrs. Beauchamp in apparent distress.

Upon queries regarding his heroism, Mhor protested, “I jus’ wanted to get a wee peek at Mistress Beauchamp’s… weel, never ye mind.”

Mhor reported the assault to MacKenzie clan war chieftan, Dougal MacKenzie, who was drinking ale in the taproom below. MacKenzie rushed to Mrs. Beauchamp’s aid.

“That toady corporal was about to kick her again when I got through the door,” MacKenzie said after the incident. “Thank god Angus climbed the side of the building.” When queried regarding any punishment for Mhor’s attempt to look in the women’s toilets, MacKenzie declined to respond.

Mhor, on the other hand, was more expansive in his comments. “Had I no been lookin’ to peep in the women’s privy, I wouldna hae seen Mistress Beauchamp being treated so. ‘Twas worth the fall from the ledge into the hogpile, ye ken!”

It is unclear if any charges will be filed against Captain Randall or Corporal Hawkins. Mhor is currently being sued for 15 shillings as compensation for the damaged pigpen.


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