NEWSFLASH: Are Aliens Invading? Local Shepherd Thinks So!

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September 24, 2014 by Writing Campus

Willie Duncan
(from left to right) Willie Duncan with Edna, Bluebell, and Sally

INVERNESS – Could alien life be making contact with mankind? Sheepherder Willie Duncan, 17, reports that in the early hours of October 30, he spotted a spectral figure with demonic tendrils blundering out of the standing stones at Craigh na Dun, just north of Inverness.

According to Duncan, “It appeared in a flash of light, and there was the screaming of its unholy vessel! I feart for my life, and it frightened my sheep, it did,” he continued.

Donald MacKintosh, resident of Inverness, questioned Duncan’s credibility to speak on the subject. “Willie’s been known to take a wee tipple now and again – he was likely pished. If anything, he saw Jamie Graham’s cow wandering loose again.”

Duncan disagreed when questioned on the matter, replying, “Naw, it canna be! And I wasnae drunk. MacKintosh is a wallaping ass!” Duncan continued to comment, warning, “Ye just wait! Soon there will be more and we will all be reft from our beds in the middle o’ the night!”

Murtagh Fraser, one of the first on the scene, expressed his doubts. “Havers, Willie’s a bawheed. It’s nae but a wee Sassenach wench,” he claimed.

Whether this spectral presence has any relation to the assault on Cpt. Jonathan Wolverton Randall is unclear.

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